23
Mar

Star Wars Quotes That Should Not Be Used in Sex Situations

   Posted by: Janahan Balasingham   in Random

I came across a thread in IMDB with these quotes. Hilarious stuff. I copied some of them here.

Female to Male

“Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone”

“It came from… behind!”

“You’re a little short for a storm trooper.”

“At that speed, will you be able to pull out in time?”

“If you give it to me, I might forget I found you.”

“You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.”

“Look at the *size* of that thing!”

“I always knew there had to be more to you than money…”

“Hey! We don’t serve their kind in here!”

“You and your father are now mine.”

“Come here my little friend. Don’t be afraid.”

“I don’t sense anything.”

“Wipe them out…all of them. Wipe them out…all of them.”

“They’re coming in too fast”

Female: “Did it go in?”
Male:   “No…just impacted on the surface!”

Female: “I don’t know, I feel like…”
Male:   “Feel like what?”
Female: “Like we’re being watched.”

“Something just moved past my leg!”

“Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.”

Female: “Shall I hold them?”
Male:   “No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself.”

“Exciting is hardly the word I would choose.”

“Don’t center on your anxiety. Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs.”

Male To Female

“I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough.”

(As her pants come off), you say “I recognised your foul stench when I was brought onboard”.

“Sorry about the mess.”

“That’s the idea… I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

“It’s no good, I can’t maneuver!”

“Sorry Your Highness, I don’t have time for anything else…”

“Being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited.”

“No. I am your father…”

“I’m trying to, I don’t know where the trigger is… Ooops, wrong one, maybe…this one? No, wait, here it is. YEAH!”

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”

“Had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you… How are you?”

“There’s an awful lot of moisture in here.”

When manhood doesn’t rise to the occasion, “They told me they fixed it! It’s not my fault!”

Male Quotes

“obi wan is gonna be so mad at me…”

For guys who talk to their own manhoods, “Get in there you fury oath! I don’t care what you smell!”

For guys who talk to their own manhoods, “YAHOOOOO! You’re all clear, kid, now let’s blow this thing and go home!”

For guys who talk to their own manhoods, “Rise, my friend.”

For guys who talk to their own manhoods, “We’ve stopped. Wake up! Wake up!”

“The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet. It’s defenses are designed around a direct, large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense.”

“My father has it…I have it…and…my sister has it.”

Pimp to his customer, “She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”

“The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only 2 meters wide. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction.”

Female Quotes

“He has too much of his father in him.”

“…it’s not like that at all. He’s my brother.”

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 at 9:50 pm and is filed under Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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